10 Toys My Child Doesn't Need But Whatever

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If parenthood has taught me anything, it's that you will spend stupid amounts of money on incredibly useless things. Why? Because kids'/baby companies have figured out how to prey on parents' wallets by making the cutest shit. So now I continually spend my days filling up carts on various websites with toys, teethers, and snuggly things that make me squee. Here's some stuff you definitely don't need:

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Liewood Silicone Cupcakes, $27

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These teething-friendly cupcakes ... is it weird that I want to put one into my adult mouth?

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Tender Leaf Toys Babyccino Maker, $54.99

Might as well get them started on a bankrupting habit at a young age, right?

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Little Dutch Stroller Activity Book, $23.99

My justification: This is a precursor to ​Moby Dick​, right?

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Moonie Organic Humming Bear, $85

It's a huggable nightlight and sound machine in one! Choose from white noise, heartbeat, lullaby, and others. And bonus: The "cry detector" will restart your selected noise if baby starts fussing.

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Konges Slojd Stacking Pear, $58

I'll never stop Scandifying my nursery, $58 at a time.

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Liewood Soft Cotton Toy, $29

This lovey looks slightly worn-in, which somehow makes it even more adorable?

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Konges Slojd Baby Mirror, $37

$37 for a teeny-tiny mirror? Worth it.

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Caldwell the Crab, $40

His name is Caldwell. CALDWELL!

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Konges Slojd Activity Ring, $37

Three new friends! Endless opportunities to give them cute names.

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Little Dutch Rainbow Abacus, $21.99

Take my money, please.

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