These 12 Cleaning Memes Are SO Real

Memes ought to be a step in the next big cleaning and organization system. Actually, let's make it step one: Find a ridiculous image on the internet and caption it with a wry, self-effacing observation about how illogical your cleaning habits are. The very act would make many people change their habits, and let's be honest, those who double down on their kooky cleaning habits weren't ever going to change in the first place. 

Either way, the memes themselves are funny. In all seriousness, part of what makes memes so great is when we recognize ourselves in them. It's a way of acknowledging that something is a little off-kilter about our lives without making too much of it. Other memes, of course, are squarely aimed at others in the tradition of Groucho Marx's classic "If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you" ... or was it Einstein who said that? Or Lincoln, or Mark Twain? 

Regardless, there's an amiable clap-on-the-shoulder attitude for most memes, one that says something like "We both know you're guilty, but I won't turn you in." So let's sit back, put off our next cleaning project, and instead sink into our chairs to enjoy the cleverest cleaning memes on the web. 

We start our discussion here because this meme has a certain amount of metaphysical nonsense superimposed over what is basically a pun, and that's perfect to kick off this jaunt through cleaning memes. If there's serious commentary here, it's a recognition that cleaning technology isn't serving us as well as it could. A tool made to simplify a cleaning task invents, on its own behalf, an even more onerous cleaning task. The most fun of all, though, is the reverberations of Nietzsche here, which has us proclaiming: If you gaze for too long into the meme, the meme gazes also into you.

This meme disregards people with rewinding vacuum cleaner cords and the repairs that define them, but perhaps all that would have muddied the point. And the point seems to be that there are people who dutifully wind vacuum power cords on the approved hooks, and people who coil the cords nicely over one hook instead. The implication seems to be that the latter are unwashed heathens, but the fact is they're not only making an effort, but using a method that's easier to unwind when you need it next time.

This is a nod to the absurdity of cleaning to impress others, though it doesn't quite rise to the weirdness of performative cleaning, like that person who washes her milk jugs and cleaning products for the camera when they come in from the grocery store. But it also points to the fact that, perhaps, we should take it a bit easier on ourselves. There are things your cleaners shouldn't have to deal with, and there are probably things you find embarrassing even if the cleaners don't mind. Don't sweat it... or do, if you prefer.

Speaking of performative cleaning, what makes this great — in fact, what makes it a meme in the first place — is the comment from Lucy Huber. Humblebrags are more transparent than this person's sparkling windows. Some of us are probably... you know, hypothetically, looking at a living room featuring three scooters, Candy Land, 17 books, 211 Hot Wheels cars, and Lego bricks so numerous a calculator would stick an E in it somewhere. We know darned well that no one stepped around that "bike" two dozen times while staging an Instagram shot.

We won't go so far as to say this meme is wrong, since we've all nearly turned on carat browsing (whatever that is) 1,000 times when cleaning keyboards. The struggle is real, but anyone who owns both a laptop and a cat will tell you that nothing compares to the keyboard chaos created by a cat lounging on a warm keyboard. Still, either could replace the primate in the infinite monkey theorem: A microfiber rag randomly hitting keys on a keyboard for an infinite amount of time would eventually output the works of Shakespeare.

Of course, you need neither monkeys nor cats for the law of infinite probability to apply. It basically says the same thing as the infinite monkey theorem: if something is possible, it will eventually happen. All you need is an infinite supply of laundry (check) and an infinite amount of time (not by a mile). If your power bill isn't a concern, you can cut the infinite time in half and get the wrinkles out of jeans without ironing by just drying the same clothes over and over for ... hmm, what's half of infinity, anyway?

If we're going to have a society with values, and if we're going to resist the trappings of nihilistic darkness like cannibalism and simulation gaming, there must be rules. And one of those rules is that clean laundry places are for clean laundry only. Unless you want to do laundry every minute of the day, there will be clothing that isn't dirty enough to wash but due to not being clean (remember, we have rules!), can't be returned to the closets or drawers of the pristine. The Chair, then, is important and necessary because no one has solved this problem better.

Of course, sometimes a problem has been solved ... well, incompletely. We have chests of drawers, dressers, closets, and all manner of other places to store laundered clothing. But there remains some kind of disconnect in the workflow so that clean clothes never make it far past the dryer. Perhaps your children aren't old enough to fold laundry yet or you haven't found the perfect pre-folding place yet. Either way, "ironed" shirts and warm socks on a winter's day are only a button press away, so perhaps there's not much of a problem after all.

The great but haphazard art of procrastination is a rich vein of meme wisdom. It's probably worthwhile to distinguish among cleaning, organizing, and decluttering sometimes. Someone de-grunging a toilet bowl is unlikely to find anything as agreeably interesting as a party mask, neck pillow, and ... what's that, a Blackberry? "Hey, look, an old text from mom I never saw. 'I've hidden a Mardi Gras mask under your bed. Don't ask questions.'" Experts say you only need six cleaning supplies, but let's be real, you also need a place to stick Mardi Gras masks and neck pillows.

Every organizational expert who's not a total wack job acknowledges the need for a junk drawer — that is, of course, a repository for things of value, or potential value, that have no logical home. This is where you put things like mystery keys, batteries of unknown provenance or power, cigarette lighters belonging to anyone past college age, Allen wrenches that shall not sully the domain of your Complete Allen Key Set, and padlocks with missing keys (and yes, we know what you're thinking about the keys and locks, but it's not like you have a place for padlocks with keys, either). This meme taps into the reality in a way that you'll almost definitely see yourself in. 

There's something sadly familiar about the hangdog demeanor and resigned body language of this gent. All of this is no surprise to him. He's not even that concerned, since he's already standing shin-deep in a puddle wearing a collared shirt and gym shorts. On the same vein, it won't even be upsetting when he's trying to rinse a spoon and the water stream hits it at exactly the right angle to spray water all over the kitchen counter, his blazer, the toaster, and everything else. But who does the driver represent in this metaphor? That's the question. 

Let's close this article about memes with this festive little celebration of memes, which promises a lot more than it can deliver. Our hero is showing a brave face, but it's hard to believe he's entirely happy with the situation. It's clearly laundry day, but he finds himself distracted by being Photoshopped badly into a party where beautiful people have crammed themselves into a tarot reader's bathroom to drink from plastic cups. Is that really better than just setting aside the memes and getting on with the laundry? Well, yeah, it probably is. Anything is better than laundry.